This is one of the most rewarding areas of my job, being able to help where communication has broken down between those involved in a marriages and relationships where disagreements have prevailed.
Relationships work on systems. Unfortunately people enter into marriages and relationship with no plan B. What this means is when the relationship hits rocky waters they have no way of getting to shore safely. They have no lifeboat. Of course in life there will always be rocky waters and often when they are unexpected like an affair, infertility, mismatched sex drive, disputes over family dynamics and friends, separation, possible divorce, money, inheritance issues or bankruptcy.
People don’t mean to fall out with each other, it’s just that sometimes life gets on top of everyone and we all can lose the plot at times. Marriage counselling or relationships counselling is specifically designed to use the mechanics of communication techniques, negotiation, observation and listening skills.
It is surprising how many couples are not operating those skills. They might like to think they are but in reality their communications have become defensive, closed and one-sided. They have lost perspective or maybe they were never able to see things objectively in the first place.
Because you fall out with your partner, it doesn’t mean you don’t care for them or love them anymore. We can’t all agree on every issue all the time, but we can all agree to disagree and respect each other’s space.
For marriage counselling or relationship counselling to work well, all involved need to come along to the session willing to make a change. Sometimes some parties need to have individual sessions. But if you are in a relationship that is difficult for you, you can approach the problem by initially coming to a marriage counselling or relationship counselling session at my clinic in Sydney to find out what you can do about you situation.
If your partner refuses to attend marriage counselling or relationship counselling, it is really OK for you to come along alone in the first instance to find out what you may do to help things go forward.